I had nothing to lose and I had nothing to prove

Yesterday my friend met up with me during my lunch break to check out the Poetry Foundation's free exhibit, Images of Afghanistan.  The exhibit showcased landays, a form of oral folk poetry that is often one of the few forms of expression for women in Afghanistan. The exhibit is over now, but definitely check out the articles on Pulitzercenter.org because these poems should be read.

The exhibit was small and simple but informative.  What I really enjoyed was the space, the physical building of the Poetry Foundation. I had applied for an internship there a few years ago to no success so that's a little awkward now. But man, wouldn't it be amazing to work in that space. I will definitely have to come back during my lunch breaks to sit and read some Adrienne Rich in that library. Yep, Chicago has some gems.

Post title from I Wanna Go by Summer Heart.

I won't mind what you decide to swear by

A lovely city. 

A simple song. 

A beautiful movie. 

An honest blog.

Can you feel it under your skin?

Can we just talk about this weekend. So much goodness.

Friday, I went to The Happy Show at the Chicago Cultural Center.  It is free and runs until end of September, so if you are in Chicago, you must must go. I loved the simplicity and truth, and there were interactive elements as well, including riding a bicycle and free gum. Always a plus.

Saturday, my high school friend visited me and somehow scored two free One Direction tickets! We joined preteen girls screaming over five boys who were not all that enthusiastic about their songs and seemed slightly hungover and grumpy. However seeing my friend for a day and dancing was so much fun. It made me slightly jealous of these preteen girls who seem to have no worries in my eyes, but then I remembered they were in middle school and all jealousy vanished.

Sunday, I went to see the Oh Hellos. Let me tell you, the Oh Hellos are great live! Maybe the best I've ever seen. They danced, laughed, jumped, and seemed so genuinely enthusiastic and joyful to play music with each other. I would definitely see them again, and I've been listening to their songs on repeat all day at work. The Lament of Eustace Scrubb was amazing live. Oh man that energy. The post title is from Second Child, Restless Child.

So that was a high. After reading my friends' blogs about their summers in Athens, Greece and cross country biking, I gotta be proud of my little moments of excitement even if they pale in comparison :)

I am weary from the restless heart inside of me

Wednesday night I heard Fun. perform at Taste of Chicago, and they were excellent. It did make me miss my friend who is studying abroad in Greece this summer. We went to their concert last year, and my button got stuck on her sweater while we were dancing up and down in the mosh pit singing along, and we had to stop in the dancing to fix it. It was a funny moment, two girls struggling to untangle their clothes surrounded by enthusiastic jumping people.

However this Wednesday there was no mosh pit or sweat, but rather fresh air and the Chicago skyline, which ain't so bad if you ask me.

On our walk to the bus, I passed one of my favorite Chicago bloggers! We passed each other at an intersection, and I didn't realize why she was familiar until a block down. And then I freaked out. I think I scared my friend with my intensity of happiness and shock. I wish I said something, but oh well.

Anywhoo the girl I passed has the lovely fashion blog Avant Blargh. Do check it out, she is very classy.

Blog title from Hide Away by Ben Rector.

Both were climbing for a higher cause

Yesterday one of my friends performed in Millenium Park. Yeah that's right. I met up with some of my friends after their various internships and jobs to hang out and listen to some very odd music (I've never warmed up to electronic music). However it hit me that I really love these people. These talented intelligent kind people. Maybe it is being exhausted from work or getting a glimpse of what life after college is like that is bringing this on. But whatever it is, I have had the blessing to find people like me in college. People with whom I can have theological debates one minute and then joke around the next minute.  People with whom I can discuss the latest This American Life or the latest buzzfeed article. People who inspire me to write poetry and to watch Parks and Rec. People I admire.

I guess this first week of work has been a little overwhelming. But that's ok. I am happy to have another year to spend with people who know me so well before we go off into our different directions. Cause let's be honest, its really people that make life all the better sometimes.

Post title from Michicant by Bon Iver.

Find your smile now

Welp... it has been a week since my last post. I wanted to get in the habit of posting something three times a week, but then life happened. I had a week off after exams before my internship, and it was glorious.  That week was filled with boating in Door County, seeing the fam, watching movies, and wandering through farmers markets.

But now the daily grind begins. Today was my first day at my internship, which as we all know never is the best day ever. Meeting new people is scary, not knowing anything is awkward. By the end of the day I was cursing the rain for being relentless and myself for wearing heels. It only gets better from here, right?

Post title from Slow Your Breath Down by Future of Forestry.

Everybody will be dancing when we're feeling all right

My friend, Chrissy, visited me from Texas this week! She was passing through Chicago by train on her way to Brooklyn for the summer. She writes a blog too, check it out :)

I tried my best to convince her that Chicago is the best, but the weather and the el did not help my case. However we did find a used bookstore, Bookman's Corner, which sold novels for $1.50! Now I'm armed with Joyce Carol Oates and Toni Morrison for the summer. We also went to Let Them Eat Chaos, a Second City show, and analyzed a couple that seemed to be there on a blind date. She hit up a few other places: the bean, Dollop Coffeeshop, the Art Institute, Molly's Cupcakes, and of course the lovely Northwestern campus.

She left last night for her 24 hour train to NYC. The picture below is how I imagine she sleeps on the train. She's pretty badass.

Post title from Doin' It Right by Daft Punk.

I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn.

Mmmm yes Chicago in the summertime. Please let it come soon. Watch and be happy. Post title from I Love It by Icona Pop. You know you love this song.


Penny Swag from Brian Beckwith on Vimeo.

Trouble with a gold-flecked beautiful banner.

I'm taking a 20th century feminist poetry class, and it may be the best class I've ever taken at Northwestern. We recently read Gwendolyn Brooks, and oof that woman is a genius. The following is particularly haunting and eye-opening, part of her collection of poems entitled "Annie Allen."

Beverly Hills, Chicago
"and the people live till they have white hair" –E.M. Price

The dry brown coughing beneath their feet,
(Only a while, for the handyman is on his way)
These people walk their golden gardens.
We say ourselves fortunate to be driving by today.

That we may look at them, in their gardens where
The summer ripeness rots. But not raggedly.
Even the leaves fall down in lovelier patterns here.
And the refuse, the refuse is a neat brilliancy.

When they flow sweetly into their houses
With softness and slowness touched by that everlasting gold,
We know what they go to. To tea. But that does not mean
They will throw some little black dots into some water and add sugar and the juice of the
     cheapest lemons that are sold,

While downstairs that woman's vague phonograph bleats, "Knock me a kiss."
And the living all to be made again in the sweatingest physical manner
Tomorrow....Not that anybody is saying that these people have no trouble.
Merely that it is trouble with a gold-flecked beautiful banner.

Nobody is saying that these people do not ultimately cease to be. And
Sometimes their passings are even more painful than ours.
It is just that so often they live till their hair is white.
They make excellent corpses, among the expensive flowers....

Nobody is furious. Nobody hates these people.
At least, nobody driving by in this car.
It is only natural, however, that it should occur to us
How much more fortunate they are than we are.

It is only natural that we should look and look
At their wood and brick and stone
And think, while a breath of pine blows,
How different these are from our own.

We do not want them to have less.
But it is only natural that we should think we have not enough.
We drive on, we drive on.
When we speak to each other our voices are a little gruff.

Can I get a minute of not being nervous

I love this. One lady put up a wall where folks can write down what they want to accomplish before they die. It started in New Orleans and has been continuing in other cities and countries. I need to find the one in Chicago!

"It was an experiment and I didn’t know what to expect. By the next day, the wall was bursting with handwritten responses and it kept growing: Before I die I want to… sing for millions, hold her one more time, eat a salad with an alien, see my daughter graduate, abandon all insecurities, plant a tree, straddle the International Date Line, get clean, live off the grid, build a school, be someone’s cavalry, be completely myself…  People’s responses made me laugh out loud and they made me tear up. They consoled me during my toughest times. I understood my neighbors in new and enlightening ways, and the wall reminded me that I’m not alone as I try to make sense of my life."

Berlin

Chicago

Johannesburg

Brooklyn

Post title from Slow Show by The National.

Rivers 'til I reach you

Thoughts on life:

1. HAPPY 2013! Last year was amazing, so we'll see if this one can beat it. 

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."

— Neil Gaiman

2. After nine countries spanning eight languages later, I will be arriving back in the US tomorrow. Yay? Yay! I have been in Europe for five months, and my dad has been here for two weeks. He has more bags than I do. I don't want to judge or anything.

4. Here is a little video about the United States from a French perspective. So true. Ok I understand it is in French, but at least we can all agree that he is attractive and the French language sounds beautiful. Oof. I'm gonna miss them attractive French boys.



Post title from The Head and the Heart, Rivers and Roads.

So keep your head up, keep your love

I had such a lovely weekend with Claire. We started our Saturday with pasteries from Bennison's and a trip to Belmont. We walked around, went to a few stores, and ate lunch at Deuce's up in Wrigleyville.  

My roommate from this past year joined us Kickstand Espresso Bar, a really cute coffee shop in Belmont. They have great red velvet cookies.

We then proceeded to get lost in a thrift store, where we happened upon this vintage women's magazine. Apparently skinny was not in fashion back in the day.

Then Claire and I headed down to Grant Park for an outdoor concert. We met up with my family and had classy drinks... in Winnie the Poo cups :) We then stressed on the el about making our tickets to The Dark Knight Rises back in Evanston. Wow was it good.

The next morning we got to see the view of Evanston from my friend's rooftop pool. We can pretend that I live in a city...

We spent some time Sunday walking through Chicago Cultural Center, with a lovely view of Grant Park and the Bean. I say she should visit every weekend :)

Post title from Stubborn Love by The Lumineers.

Meet me in Chicago

I am currently sitting in an empty hallway at my friend's apartment building. With my computer and a cupcake. The vent is blowing air directly at my head, and my feet are cold. This is the only place I can get internet at night without spending money. Sometimes I get desperate. But I have really exciting news:


My best friend from home is coming tomorrow! I can't wait. I even cleaned the bathroom cause I'm so excited.

Some fun facts:

We used to sit down in our high school elevator after school and have deep life chats. Sometimes we threw in a few curse words...

She has the most comfortable bed ever. 

After seeing Like Crazy, we listened to Dead Hearts by Stars on repeat during the car ride back.

She has a blog too, which you should check out. She also has a tumblr that I would like to live at.

This weekend is going to be so so fun; there are so many places in Chicago I must show her. Let's get it started :) 


Photos of Chicago from this tumblr. Post title from the song Chicago by Mat Kearney.

What secrets do your bones hold?

Abuela, how did you pray before someone told you who your god should be?
How did you hold the earth in your hands and thank her for its fecundity?
Did the sea wash away your sadness?
How did you humble yourself before your architect?
Did your lower yourself to your knees or rock to the rhythm of ocean waves like I do?
Grandma, how did you pray ?

Some say faith is for the weak or small minded, but I search for your faith everywhere,
I need it to reassemble myself whole from these shards of Chicago ice and island breezes 
So I can rewrite the songs of your silence and pain,
Your lonely fists broken toothed smile and burdens into a medley of mantras.


- Faith Like Yours by Mayda del Valle


I love Descendancy and To All the Boys I've Loved Before. I've been listening to these on repeat. Some people are so so talented.

The el and me

I had a realization today. I hate the el. A year ago, it was exciting. The idea was so great. But now the honeymoon period is over, but I have learned something valuable.

Let me better explain myself. Let me take you through the relationship between the el and me. Place yourself in my shoes for a moment.

At first you love it. It took you a good seven months after coming to college to finally ride it all by yourself. You don't even know the difference between the red and purple line. They are all the same. This naive romance continues for sometime.

And then you realize that sometimes the el will decide to stop for 10 minutes just for fun when you are already late to work.

Sometimes it will not be on time. Actually that is all the time.

Sometimes it will make sudden movements and you will spill coffee on your white shirt on the way to an interview. You hyperventilate.

Sometimes it will just decide to run express without telling you and skip your stop. You make up new curse words.

Sometimes it will be packed with loud smelly Cubs fans. When they all climb in at Addison, you fight the urge to punch them all.

Sometimes it will be on the opposite track with the wrong name on it. You are confused.

Sometimes it will not go north past Fullerton because of a fire. You have to find another way home by relying on impatient commuters, sassy cta workers, and minimal phone abilities.

Sometimes you underestimate the size of your bag and you get stuck on the turnstyle. You feel awkward.

Sometimes you will find yourself closer than comfortable to your fellow Chicagoans underground waiting to leave the station because of a reroute.  You are then met with angry Cubs fans who are waiting to get on. They are late for the game, and they don't say nice things to you.

Sometimes the one day you wear your heels to work, you don't find a seat on the el and you are rerouted and therefore gain a lovely extra hour to your already hour commute. Your feet hurt. A lot.

Sometimes you will lose your footing when the el stops, and you throw your phone unintentionally at someone.

Sometimes you make the poor decision of sitting behind someone who talks very loudly on the phone. You find yourself knowing way too much about their life and giving them advice in your head.

Sometimes you realize that if you put all the money you spent on the el in the last six months, you could probably go to Lollapalooza.

Sometimes you find yourself thinking the wise words of Kristen Wiig.

But then you realize that all this hate and anger means something. It means you are officially a Chicagoan. 

You are no longer a newcomer, a tourist. Even though you see greatness in public transportation, it is a struggle, and it will make you mad and impatient. 

It's like an abusive relationship. You get beat up, but you can't stay away. 

This anger gives you something in common with every other Chicagoan. You can officially say you are part of Chicago. 

You feel great pride. The el has made you angry, hurt, late to work, late to dinner, late to a lot of things. But it also made you part of the city.

By the way don't even get me started on Chicago buses...

How could I feel bad anymore

Check out this Chicago band, Kids These Days. They performed at the Unity Fashion Show at Northwestern this weekend!

And I know I could be more clever

What a day. Technically I enjoyed a lovely 3 course meal at Cafe Spiaggia downtown, then bought two pairs of boots at Topshop.... BUT:


It is restaurant week (so cheaper prices on fine dining), and the boots were over 80% off... we walked into the store simply to use the bathroom, and the manager decided to reduce all the boots on a whim right when we were passing by. Excellent timing.


Yeah life is good.


Anywhoo I have almost wrapped up my class reading for the quarter aka I can read whatever I want!! And I am only taking classes part time next quarter and will have longish commutes to the city during the week, so I will be reading so so much. Yes. Check out this photography by Juliette Tang. She takes photos of life and literature.

Post title from Out on the Town by Fun.

Can you chase this fire away

Yesterday I went to a museum by myself for the first time. The Art Institute of Chicago has had many free days, and I have been taking advantage of them. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I enjoyed every second of being alone, people watching on the el, walking downtown, and roaming the museum at my own pace. Evanston can feel so suffocating sometimes, it is nice to escape.


I recently discovered this lovely lady's blog, blushing ambitions. I love. Here are some outfits I wish I could've worn to the museum yesterday. 


Post title from Lakehouse by Of Monsters and Men... I can't stop listening! Happy weekend :)

Who’s got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn’t cried once today? This moi.

Credit

Yes I got this title from Liz Lemon :)


I've been a little confused about life lately to the point where I ate Dove dark chocolate squares in hopes that the wrappers would give me some sense of direction.  Didn't work.  "Do what feels right?" "Give a little love?"  Hmm perhaps... but not really the advice I'm looking for.


I definitely have been near tears too many times this month (read: overly emotional and super annoying). 2012 is bah. ugh. ew. so far.  But I'm tired of being stressed and cold and sad so I've decided to write a list of things that I'm thankful for.


1. the weather. Today was 30s and sunny... I wore converse today.


2. going to a school where it is not weird to stay in and do homework Friday night... or Saturday night... or pretty much every night in my case.  It gets crazy.


3. les amis. I don't have to worry about finding someone to watch tv, eat, drink, or discuss religious and philosophical musings (true story).  Although I still haven't found someone to watch The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo with me... anyone interested?


4. Chicago. Walking downtown is a real wakeup call that I'm not the center of the world. And that there is life outside the bubble of Northwestern.


5. The parentals. They are pretty great. And cute. And I miss them.


6. Taking 20 minutes every night to read. So what if I have a paper due in two days on a book I haven't read half of yet... I'm gonna give myself 20 minutes to read whatever I want.  I'm looking at you Margaret Atwood.


Dude, I got this.  Winter Quarter got nothin' on me.

Run deep, run wild

Oh Chicago.  This weekend I finally went to Wicker Park with my friend :)  I really like the neighborhood, although it was too darn cold to check everything out.  One great place we wandered into was Myopic Books, a lovely used-book store.  We had a light lunch at Forno (if you're wondering, the pizza was excellent) and attempted to shop at Steve Madden and Marc Jacobs, but then realized we had no money (I mean a $50 ring at Marc Jacobs?! no thanks).  Here are a few photos (taken by me) of the Milwaukee, Damen, North intersection downtown, my friend at lunch, and the bookstore.  Post title from I Follow Rivers by Lykke Li.